reading Our Father, by Marilyn French

“I wanted to command attention the way he did, learned how to do it too, Clare said I had it down, but not the same, they don’t listen to me the same way, it’s different.  They liked listening, looking up to him, elder statesman.  They don’t like listening to me.”  p22

“Oh, why didn’t I go?  Nobody asked me.” p110

Because we’ve been taught from the beginning that we must not ask, we must wait.  Wait for a man to ask us to the prom, to ask us out for a drink, dinner, a date, marriage.  Along with the convention that those events are supposedly of utmost importance in a woman’s life, it’s no wonder we grow up waiting to be asked for — everything.  Jobs, membership on task forces and projects, raises, promotions, clients … all the things that put us on the ladder, and help us ascend, to status and income.

Imagine a world in which boys were reprimanded for asking, we taught they must wait—  Well, full stop there. 

And imagine, of course, that women seldom ask them for anything of importance because, well, men just aren’t that important, except as escorts in one way or another …

And it’s not just that.  The few of us who do ask are told ‘no’ (if our asking is indeed acknowledged, ‘heard’…).  (And note, we don’t respond to rejection with a shooting spree.) 

So often, we eventually stop.

“Is that all I am to him, a shudder in the loins?  Is that all fatherhood is?” p216

“Poor kid, what must that feel like, your own father doesn’t even have the interest to lay eyes on you.”  p216

“All I want is some answers. … I don’t care about the money.” p222

“You’re asking for something he doesn’t want to give.” p223

No, more likely, something he doesn’t have.  I dare say we impute too much self-awareness to men on issues like this.

“He was so powerful things just appeared before him when he wanted them.” p227

Right.  Men don’t even have to ask.  And women don’t ask.  Partly because they’ve been taught all their lives not to; we’re supposed to just wait … See above.  And partly because when we do ask, we don’t get what we’re asking for anyway.  See This is what happens, Chris Wind.

“… that you and generations of men before you felt that incest was their prerogative, their right—that fathers own the bodies of their daughters as they do those of their wives and slaves.  And that they believe they have the right to own other human beings, to control them, that indeed, they define manhood as the ability to control others.” p296 (my emphasis)

“… you [the father who raped her when she was a child, telling her the whole time that he loved her…] destroyed utterly my ability to discriminate love from power, sex from submission.  You ruined my emotional life.  Forever.”  p300

Does that explain the possibly increasing preference for ‘rough’ sex?

“This left me with a sense of helplessness and inferiority—a sense that I have no existence, don’t matter—that I will have to battle as long as I live.”  p302

Don’t need to rape your daughters to do that.  Just ignore and belittle them from the moment they’re born until they finally get the fuck out of your house.

“Even though I never harmed you—after all, I have no responsibility for my own existence, my ow birth—and never wished you ill, you have condemned me to eternal shadowhood and pain.”  p303

Indeed.  Men, why do you create something in order to ignore it, abandon it, to hurt it so?  Because perverse ‘masculinity’ requires it.  And you buy it.  Masculinity.

“I don’t have to have another husband.  The thought shocked her into utter stillness.”  p318

Pity more women don’t realize that at eighteen.  In our current society, we don’t need to marry a man.  End of story.  Take advantage of that! 

Women and networking, putting yourself out there (why we find it hard) …

insights about women and networking (why we find it hard) from “Living the Life of the Mind” Charlotte Knowles (The Philosophers’ Magazine 90)

“Reticence to put yourself out there or an uncomfortableness about marching up to a veritable stranger and introducing yourself, is something that I think is particularly common for those belonging to underrepresented groups in philosophy, whether on the basis of gender, race, (dis)ability, or class.  It is common, I think, to feel that you’re not really entitled to be there (even if only on an unconscious level) and so any connections you try to make might feel like you’re trying to grasp something that’s not really yours.  Talking about your work earnestly or even at all might feel like you’re taking up space, so instead you sit back, you listen, perhaps you make small talk. …”


” … If you’ve been told your whole life you are special, that your views are important, your work is great …   Maybe it doesn’t even feel like ‘networking’ when you go up and talk to the most well-known philosopher at the conference.  Why wouldn’t they want to talk to you?  You’re great.  Maybe they’ll even learn something from you, or have a project they might like your help with. …”


“Does it really matter if you don’t put yourself out there …  Well yes, I think it does.  What it means is that a certain set of people end up making all the connections, getting themselves known, getting remembered in job searches or in recruiting people for special issues or edited collections, and for those who are not so good at self-promotion, whether face to face or, as is becoming increasingly important, on social media, they get left behind, and not because eof a lack of talent, but because of a lack of confidence and a lack of entitlement. …

But that happens even when we do put ourselves out there.  Read This is what happens (Chris Wind).  (I know, I know, I’ve mentioned this novel several times, but it’s really a good, close look at how women become and remain so invisible despite working hard to be otherwise…)

When someone tells you transwomen aren’t really a problem…

A post by Namename over on Feminist Current:

We have already seen men demand access to female prisons and be given it (several countries), and on at least one occasion that has led to female prisoners being assaulted.

We have seen men insist on access to female rape shelters on several occasions (several countries), and be given it.

We have seen a female rape shelter stripped of its government funding for insisting on remaining female only after a campaign by Mr Morgan Oger who is a man identifying as trans. When they were unable to terrorise them into closing, violent men launched a campaign of hate against it including nailing a rat to the door.

We have seen men being called women in the media, repeatedly, including when being accused of a crime, this includes by the BBC.

We have seen several high profile people state in public Men Are Women including Stephen King and Professor Alice Roberts, who’s an anthropologist by the way.

We have seen men demand and be given access to women’s toilets and changing rooms, including in schools (several countries).

We have seen a child who was subjected to years of hormone treatment taken to Thailand at the age of 16 to have his penis surgically removed. His mother, who organised all of this, joked and laughed about how difficult it was for the surgeon to remove it because it was so tiny due to the hormone treatments on national TV (UK I think).

We have seen men insisting they be allowed to join lesbian groups (several countries).

We have seen an I love JK Rowling poster taken down twice, and in Edinburgh the railway authority lied and said this was in response to complaints. There were no complaints.

We have seen JK Rowling’s handprint in Edinburgh dowsed in blood and other public threats made against her including death and rape threats, for saying she supports trans people but biology is real.

We have seen an infiltration on dating apps of men demanding lesbians have sex with their female penis (several countries).

We have seen men stealing women’s trophies in sport, repeatedly (cycling and wrestling, probably others).

We have seen women sacked because they called a man by the correct sex or said biology is real (UK I think, maybe also America).

We have seen a woman’s officer job in UK Labour go to a young man who was deeply and aggressively offensive to any and all women who queried this, and who claimed to be a female on certain days of the week.

We have seen laws changed in several countries to accommodate men who claim to be women.

We have seen many politicians stand up and say they will give men women’s rights – Joe Biden USA, Mhairi Black & Nicola Sturgeon Scotland, Trudeau the PM of Canada. Obama, when he was in office. Many more.

We have seen that any search of the term trans crimes comes up only with “crimes” such as “misgendering” despite men who identify as trans being guilty of many crimes against women. – it becomes increasingly difficult to find any actual news no matter what terms you use because of the idealogical belief in “deadnaming” and “misgendering”.

We have seen calling someone by the correct pronouns for their sex made into a hate crime (UK, maybe Canada too)

We have seen people harassed at home by the police for “misgendering” (UK)

We have seen many people kicked off Twitter and out of other circles for stating men aren’t women or sometimes just saying “he” (Meghan Murphy, Graham Linehan to name but two).

We have seen academics silencing women at Universities for speaking up against transology.

We have seen judges insist that women call their male attackers “she”.

We have seen Waxmyballs take women to court, repeatedly, claiming his right to have his “female” penis and balls waxed supersedes their human right not to touch his genitals. Despite losing the last time he’s at it again.

This is just off the top of my head. Literally, without even thinking about it, I was able to come up with all of these examples. There are lots more.

One of us is certainly being very silly. But it’s not me. Not only are we going to lose if we don’t stop the trans juggernaut in its tracks, women have already been harmed by transology all over the world. We have been losing for years.

And this also bears repeating. Gallus Mag was censored and censured for writing this list of the human rights of women that we stand to lose if the current transologist juggernaut is not stopped. And soon.

Removing the legal right of women to organize politically against sex-based oppression by males
Removing the legal right of women to assemble outside the presence of men
Removing the legal right of women to educational programs created for women outside the presence of men
Eliminating data collection of sex-based inequalities in areas where females are underrepresented
Elimination of sex-based crime statistics
Eliminating athletic programs and sports competition for women and girls
Removing the legal right of women to be free from the presence of men in areas of public accommodation where nudity occurs
Elimination of grants, scholarships, board and trustee designations, representative positions, and affirmative programs for women
Removing the legal right of women to create reproductive clinics, rape crisis services, support groups, or any organizations for females
Eliminating media and all public discourse specific to females
Removal of the right of journalists to report the sex, and history, of subjects
Eliminating the legal right of lesbians to congregate publicly
Elimination of lesbian-specific organizations and advocacy groups
Removing the legal right of women to free speech related to sex roles and gender
Elimination of the legal right of women to protection from state-enforced sex-roles (appearance/behavior/thought)
Elimination of the legal right of girls to protection from state-enforced sex-roles in public education
Elimination of the patient right of dependent females to hospital/facility bed assignments separate from males
Elimination of the right of dependent females to prefer female providers for their intimate personal care requirements
Elimination of the human right of female prisoners under state confinement to be housed separately from male prisoners” (from here)”

Fierce collection of feminist poetry

From one of our readers:

Amy Jean’s fierce, new collection of poetry Side Steps: Terrorizing Sound Bites Part 2 Some Things are Black and White peels back the ramifications of living in a male-dominated world. Her feminist poems release her anger and sadness at the chains that restrict her and other women. She realizes that our society is entrenched in a mindset that blinds us to the repression of women, but she encourages the reader to wake up. Her deeply personal poems lay bare her personal trials, tribulations, and observations in a spirited rhythmic style.

She explores how traditions and gender roles keep women from discovering their worth. The poem “Say It Isn’t So” powerfully illustrates that women should not be suppressed. Instead, women should live free of fear, free to be loved, free to be their own boss, and free to speak their own mind. Throughout the book, Amy reconstructs her life bit by bit as she searches for an authentic life free of restraints, greed, and jealousy. Readers embark on a literary journey of emotional highs and lows.

Attached is a copy of the press release. If you would like more information, a review copy, or would like to speak to the author about her book or discuss women’s issues, divisive issues, and her religious devotion, please contact me at either or 914-575-8736.

To the transwomen who insist they’re women …

If you believe sex isn’t binary, is a spectrum, why are you so insistent that you belong at the pole?  Why not just be a transwoman, someone between the poles of male and female, somewhere along the spectrum? Wouldn’t that make more sense?

At the female end, we have people who are XX, who (still) have a functioning reproductive system, who (still) have functioning breasts, who have a certain amount of estrogen coursing through their bodies, etc. Maybe a bit away from the pole, we have XX people who have had mastectomies, and a bit further, we have menopausal women who are no longer reproductive (good bye to all that!), and a bit further still, at least at the halfway mark, perhaps closer to the XY pole, we have people who are XY, who have a cosmetic vagina (it doesn’t lead to and from a uterus), cosmetic breasts (they don’t produce milk), and a certain amount of estrogen, and closer still to the other end, people who are XY, who haven’t had any cosmetic surgery, but who have estrogen …

John Varley’s Dark Lightning

It’s just space opera, but I love that the girls kick ass and the prettyboy hunk is pretty much useless.

Bragging about being beaten

A while ago, I saw a post by a woman bragging about her bruises … (should’ve saved the link, but I was just so … appalled …)

In 1976, Women Against Violence Against women (WAVAW) protested and got the Stones’ billboard taken down (it showed a woman bound and bruised saying ‘I’m ‘”Black and Blue” from The Rolling Stones—and I love it!’  In 1978, feminists protested the June issue of Huster that had on the cover a naked woman being shoved head first into a meat grinder, and extruded at the other end as raw hamburger 9it was called the ‘all-meat’ issue).  We fought against men beating up women and how you’re saying you like being beaten?  What the fuck is wrong with you?  Have you no brain?

And to all of you wanna-be porn stars, have you not read Linda Marchiano’s autobiography?

On marrying a man a few years older than you

The convention that one marry a man a few years older than oneself allows both partners to pretend that her subordination to him is due to her relative age, not her sex.

Rape: a men’s issue

Men are the ones who rape, so why is rape a women’s issue?  Because men see nothing wrong with rape. 

Men: the sooner you recognize this, the sooner you’ll see rape as a men’s issue.

Women have fewer rights than a corpse

Thanks to

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