“We all wield different portfolios of knowledge. We have different values, different priorities, and different understandings of all that unfolds around us.” Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Yes. There. That first one. My life-long error.
I have assumed that we have different values and different priorities, and I’ve been prepared to argue for my values and priorities.
But I’ve always assumed we share the same portfolio of knowledge. That is, I’ve always assumed that the other knows what I know.
But they don’t.* And that we each start with a different set of facts—that explains our disagreement.
(Not, perhaps, our different values or priorities.)
(Or, more likely, the different set of facts also explains the different sets of values and priorities.)
Because if they knew what I know, they surely wouldn’t hold those views. (Or values or priorities.)
That explains, for example, why some people voted for Trump and still support him. And, and, and, and, ad infinitum.
To repeat, I’ve always assumed, incorrectly, that the other knows what I know.
(Why? Because I’ve been conditioned to believe I know less. I’m a woman. It follows that I know less. ‘You don’t know anything!’ ‘And if you do, what you know isn’t important!**)
Knowing this now, I know that all along, I should have been making sure that, first, the person I was speaking with (or the person about whom I hold opinions) had the same set of facts as I did. Then, I could proceed to argue with them about our conflicting views (or form my opinion about them).
But … no. That would’ve been impossible.
Because even when I have assumed, correctly, that the other didn’t know what I know, I wasn’t ‘permitted’ to educate the other, as a prerequisite for ‘solving’ the disagreement.
(Again, because I’m a woman.) (‘You can’t tell me … anything!’) (‘And how dare you try!)
So establishing that common starting point would have been, in itself, a source of … challenge.
Sigh.
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* If only because with no kids or spouse and a job of only 20 hours/week, I read 3-4 books a week. But also because my job requires that I be widely-read (so I spend a lot of time reading the academic and popular literature in many different disciplines).
** How I managed to maintain that view for as long as I did—in the face of straight As and an excellent GRE score—is nothing short of evidence for the power of sexism over all. And it didn’t help that I’ve had low-paying jobs for most of my life except for a few years as a sessional instructor at a university, and while there, no collegial recognition, let alone praise, for any of my books. All of which, again, sexism.)
