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Home for Old Hags

Struck by arthritis and its attendant mobility issues, the most worrisome being an increased risk of falling while walking in the forest or on her way down to the water, it hit her: her life would be shorter than most because she’d rather kill herself than live in a so-called retirement village. 

It was bad …

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Suppose that worldwide …

Suppose that worldwide, women flood the military, soon comprising, say, 40% of the ranks (which will be perceived by men as a majority) (go figure). 

Suppose then, as happened when women flooded the ranks of bank tellers, secretaries, and teachers, being a soldier became devalued, losing its prestige, its glory, its funding, its media coverage. 

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Suppose two married women …

Suppose two married women get jobs outside the home at the same time, forcing their husbands to hire someone to do the cooking, cleaning, and childcare.  Ten hours/day, 5 days/week, at $20/hr.  It’s a lot to afford, but the men have so-called ‘breadwinner’ salaries.

Suppose it turns out that Emma is hired by Alyssa’s husband …

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Suppose by some biochemical quirk

Suppose by some biochemical quirk, the hormones we’ve been feeding cows inhibits testosterone in humans, so the more meat men eat, the weaker they become. 

Suppose that within a year, males lost their 30% physical strength advantage over women. 

What would happen?

Naomi Alderman’s The Power meets Monty Python’s “Hell’s Grannies”

A man struts and huffs and puffs and expands like a blowfish, but all the old women close their eyes.  Deny him the female gaze.  Refuse to be a witness to his Almighty Greatness, let alone a cheerleader. 

And not only does he deflate, he disappears in a puff of, well, nothingness.  Existential nothingness.  Beauvoir …

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If being a housewife …

https://uploads.vexxed.org/15dbd995-61b7-5aa6-bd27-11b43698ffd3.jpg

“13 Microfeminism Hacks” by Robin Wilding

https://wildingout.substack.com/p/13-microfeminism-hacks-to-hilariously

“But tell us again how women are too emotional for …”

“Women can give birth. Women regulate and manage their emotions far better than men. Women tend to be less power hungry and corrupt in politics than men are. Women are far less likely to abuse children, both physically and sexually. They commit far fewer rapes than men and account for only 1 to 2% of …

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George Carlin on abortion

“Maybe men are too emotional to own guns.”

https://themouthyrenegadewriter.substack.com/p/maybe-men-are-too-emotional-to-own

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