“What do you want me to say?” your pre-Nigel, Nigel, or ex-Nigel says helplessly, having obviously said the wrong thing, again. “Just tell me what to say and I’ll say it.”
I want you to say what you think. And if I don’t agree with it, then I’m outta here. It’s that simple. (Because why would I want a relationship, a friendship, with someone with whom I don’t agree? On the important things. Maybe even on the unimportant things.)
Why is it so hard for so many men to just say what they really think? Because they don’t know. They are so supremely unaccustomed to introspection.
Because, in any case, the truth is irrelevant, useless. That’s why it’s so difficult for them to know what to say. “What do you want me to say?” means “What lies will work here?”
They think that their relationship with you is all, and only, about sexual access, recreational and reproductive. And they’re willing to say whatever it takes to get that access. To seduce is to manipulate. (If the woman really wanted you, you wouldn’t have to seduce her. You wouldn’t have to manipulate her.)
And guys, if that’s how you get a date, a girlfriend, a wife—by figuring out ‘the right thing’ to say— are you really surprised that it doesn’t last? That one day she realizes you’re bullshit through and through, have been since the beginning?