“The door-opening pretends to be a helpful
service, but die helpfulness is false. This can be
seen by noting that it will be done whether or
not it makes any practical sense. Infirm men and
men burdened with packages will open doors for
able-bodied women who are free of physical bur¬
dens. Men will impose themselves awkwardly and
jostle everyone in order to get to the door first.
The act is not determined by convenience or
grace. Furthermore, these very numerous acts of
unneeded or even noisome “help” occur in
counterpoint to a pattern of men not being help¬
ful in many practical ways in which women might
welcome help. What women experience is a world
in which gallant princes charming commonly
make a fuss about being helpful and providing
small services when help and services are of little
or no use, but in which there are rarely ingenious
and adroit princes at hand when substantial assis¬
tance is really wanted either in mundane affairs
or in situations of threat, assault or terror. There
is no help with the (his) laundry; no help typing
a report at 4:00 A.M.; no help in mediating dis¬
putes among relatives or children. There is noth¬
ing but advice that women should stay indoors
after dark, be chaperoned by a man, or when it
comes down to it, “lie back and enjoy it.” …
“The gallant gestures have no practical mean¬
ing. Their meaning is symbolic. … So the message is that
women are incapable.”
from “Oppression”, Marilyn Frye [bold mine]
https://ia902308.us.archive.org/3/items/AnarchismRadicalFeminism4/Oppression-Marilynfrye_text.pdf
