“If having children and grandchildren is so universally rewarding, why is it selfish to deny oneself the pleasure of parenting? If, on the other hand, bringing up children is an arduous task … why do [people] feel sorry for people who don’t do it”? (88)
“… the real objection to women who decide not to have children …: if women don’t conform to the expected pattern — if, crucially, they aren’t all looking after children for at least part of their adult lives — what else might they do? Pursue their own interests? Compete with men? …” (90)
“… have you ever seen a headline announcement that ‘working dads are blamed for children’s failures’? … (107)
“From no longer having to worry about being attacked on my way home at night, to being taken seriously when I talk (just because everyone assumes I was born with a penis), life’s a breeze compared to when I was living as female.” Why are trans men always left out of the conversation?
“It wasn’t that I wanted to be a boy – I just didn’t want to be a woman. I wanted to be neutral and do whatever I wanted.” https://www.bbc.com/news/stories-51806011
World, see that? That’s how shitty women are treated in our fucking sexist society. It’s so bad, young women would rather get a sex change.
“Over and over again, men who were raised and socialized as female described all the ways they were treated differently as soon as the world perceived them as male. They gained professional respect, but lost intimacy. They exuded authority, but caused fear. From courtrooms to playgrounds to prisons to train stations, at work and at home, with friends and alone, trans men reiterated how fundamentally different it is to experience the world as a man.
“Many trans men I spoke with said they had no idea how rough women at work had it until they transitioned. As soon as they came out as men, they found their missteps minimized and their successes amplified. Often, they say, their words carried more weight: They seemed to gain authority and professional respect overnight. They also saw confirmation of the sexist attitudes they had long suspected: They recalled hearing female colleagues belittled by male bosses, or female job applicants called names.
“James Gardner is a newscaster in Victoria, Canada, who had been reading the news as Sheila Gardner for almost three decades before he transitioned at 54. As soon as he began hosting as a man, he stopped getting as many calls from men pointing out tiny errors. ‘It was always male callers to Sheila saying I had screwed up my grammar, correcting me,’ he says. ‘I don’t get as many calls to James correcting me. I’m the same person, but the men are less critical of James.’
“Dana Delgardo is a family nurse practitioner and Air Force captain who transitioned three years ago. Since his transition, he’s noticed that his female patients are less open with him about their sexual behavior, but his bosses give him more responsibility. ‘All of a sudden, I’m the golden child,’ he says. ‘I have been with this company for 6 years, no ever recommended me for management. Now I’m put into a managerial position where I could possibly be a regional director.’
“Trans women have long observed the flip side of this reality. Joan Roughgarden, a professor emerita of biology at Stanford and a transgender woman, says it became much more difficult to publish her work when she was writing under a female name. ‘When I would write a paper and submit it to a journal it would be almost automatically accepted,’ she said of the time when she had a man’s name. ‘But after I transitioned, all of a sudden papers were running into more trouble, grant proposals were running into more trouble, the whole thing was getting more difficult.’
We’ve been saying all this for centuries. (I hope y’all will fight like hell to change this, rather than just bask in your new privilege. I hope you’re calling out your new buddies …)
Sometimes I feel like I haven’t grown up at all. I didn’t get married; I didn’t have kids; I didn’t fall into any kind of career path. Basically, I’m still doing what I did in my twenties: reading, writing, thinking, listening to music, and running/walking through the forest. In short, my passions haven’t changed.
But then I listened to the ‘best of’ CDs that I made a few years ago from the hundreds of 45s and LPs I’ve purchased over the years.
And discovered how much I have matured. Or at least changed. It’s impossible to listen to any of the songs I once loved, often with an obsessive addiction (I still make great use of the ‘repeat’ mode on my CD players) (great invention, that!), in quite the same way as I once did.
Was I ever that innocent? That naïve, that young? That stupid?
Gallery’s “It’s so nice to be with you”, James Taylor’s “You’ve got a friend”, Simon and Garfunkel’s “Bridge over Troubled Water”, England Dan and John Ford Coley, Seals and Croft, Chicago, Bread, The Commodores …
Or were men really better people then?
If so, what the hell happened? Where did all the good guys go? How is it we’re on the brink of extinction, what with our dependence on oil and meat, our irresponsible treatment of our water and forests … How is it that the internet has enabled the pornification of sex, the ‘entitled male’ … All those good men are now in their 60s. So they would have been the CEOs and board members that have led us down this awful path …
“Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me, Twice on the pipe if the answer is no.”
See? See how easy it is to ensure consent? Do you see how the guy doesn’t just assume he’s entitled to sex? And are you guessing that if she knocks twice on the pipe, he’s not going to go kill her because— because she doesn’t want him?
And “Tie a yellow ribbon ’round the old oak tree, it’s been three long years, do you still want me …”
And “If you want my body and you think I’m sexy, come on sugar let me know!”
See? He doesn’t assume. He waits for her to show some interest, some willingness …
(“Give me a dime so I can phone my mother”? What? She doesn’t have a dime on her? Well, okay, still. At least she’s calling her mother to let her know.)
It’s a good thing I didn’t process the end of “1, 2, 3, Red Light”—”1, 2, 3, red light won’t stop me”—all I heard was “1, 2, 3, red light” over and over (it’s pretty much every second line in the song): a young woman is say ‘no’ to what we would have called ‘going all the way’.
“If her daddy’s rich, take her out for a meal, if her daddy’s poor, just do what you feel … “
So, what, rich women have to wined and dined first, but poor women are okay to rape?
“We’re not bad people … but we do as we please.”
Um, yeah, if you do as you please, without regard for other people, you are bad people. Sing along with me, dee-dee dee-dee dee.
“Don’t ya love her madly, wanna be her daddy.”
Don’t ya wanna be in a position of authority over her, maybe engage in a little incest?
“Go away, little girl …”
Little girl? Yes, let’s double the diminutives, make sure she knows her place.
“I’m not supposed to be alone with you.”
Then you go away! Don’t foist the responsibility on her! (Especially if she really is a little girl.)
“You’re sixteen, you’re beautiful, and you’re mine.”
Given that the man singing it isn’t also sixteen, or even seventeen or eighteen…
“You’re my baby” emphasizes the point.
(Baby, baby, baby—why do so many love songs call the loved one baby? Though it’s not just men calling women ‘baby’ … Perhaps it’s because love involves looking after, and we associate looking after with looking after babies? Pity. That love has to infantalize the loved one.)
“You’re my pet.”
“Young girl, get out of my mind, my love for you is way out of line, better run, girl, you’re much too young, girl …”
At least he recognizes that his love for her is out of line. (Though again, he tells her to leave. Puts the responsibility on her.)
And oh my god, this: “Brown sugar how come you taste so good, now? … just like a young girl should, now … just like a black girl should.”
Racist sexist pedophilist. And we made him a rock star.
And this: “She stood there laughing, I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more.”
Atwood. Men are afraid women will laugh at them; women are afraid men will kill them.
“Brandy, you’re a fine girl … When he told his sailor stories, She could feel the ocean fall and rise, She saw its ragin’ glory …”
So why doesn’t she become a sailor? Sounds like she’s in love with the ocean at least as much as with the sailor who left. Sounds like she’d rather be out there than in some bar serving whiskey and wine all night. (Unless she’d be raped by the crew every day …)
“We’ll see the world through my Harley.”
Why can’t she get her own Harley?
“Having my baby.”
My baby? MY baby??
“What a lovely way of saying how much you love me.”
What? What? The woman’s an idiot if that’s why she’s pregnant, if that’s why she’s going to go through labour, if that’s why she’s going to give up her life for twenty years to look after another human being. (And if her face is glowing, that’s just the oxytocin.)
And yet, and yet …
So many songs from the 60s and 70s are sexy in a warm or sensual way: “Make It With You”, “The Air that I Breathe”, Barry White …
So many celebrate friendship, not sex: “I’ll be There”, “United we Stand”, “You’ve Got a Friend”, “You are the Sunshine of my Life” …
So many are just joyful: “Saturday in the Park”, “Dancin’ in the Moonlight”, “Me and You and a Dog named Boo” …
Many are impressively honest: “Neither One of Us”, “Don’t Expect Me to Be Your Friend”, “Rock me gently … I have never been loved like this before …” (by a woman on top? or is he a virgin? either way …), “Everybody plays the fool some time…” “Billy, don’t be a hero …” “All by myself” …
Many are introspective, thoughtful, insightful: “I learned the truth at seventeen, that love was meant for beauty queens …”, “Taxi”, “Father and Son” …
And many are simply outstanding: “War”, “I will survive” …
Jeannie C. Riley’s “Harper Valley, P. T. A.” showed us that a woman, a mom, can be a bad-ass.
Steppenwolf’s “Born to be Wild” surely influenced by decision to get a bike and head out on the highway …
Elvis Presley’s “In the Ghetto”—sure, okay, he probably never gave a cent to that kid in the ghetto, but still, that such a song was out there …
Joe Cocker’s “With a little help from my friends”, Donovan, Cat Stevens, Harry Chapin, The Moody Blues, The Eagles …
The Beatles—”You say you want a revolution, well, you know we all want to change the world … But when you talk about destruction, don’t you know that you can count me out”…
How did we get from there to … Eminem and XXXTentacion?
Another reason to hate men
“By 2050 at the latest, and ideally before 2040, we must have stopped emitting more greenhouse gases [typically caused by the burning of fossil fuels] into the atmosphere than Earth can naturally absorb through its ecosystems (a balance known as net-zero emissions or carbon neutrality). In order to get to this scientifically established goal, our global greenhouse gas emissions must be clearly on the decline by the early 2020s and reduced by at least 50 percent by 2030.” The Future We Choose: Surviving the Climate Crisis, Christiana Figueres and Tom Rivett-Carnac, (architects of the Paris Agreement), pxxii
Snowmobiles and ATVs “emit 25 percent as many hydrocarbons as all the nation’s cars and trucks put together, according to an EPA study.”
“In one hour, a typical snowmobile emits as much hydrocarbon as a 2001 model auto emits in about two years (24,300 miles) of driving. “
“Two-stroke PWC engines dump 25 – 40% of uncombusted fuel in the lake, the air, or on the land.”
“In a single hour of run time, a 2000-model PWC will dump about 4 gallons (15 liters) of unburned oil and gas into the water [source: CO Parks].”
Snowmobiles and ATVs “emit 25 percent as many hydrocarbons as all the nation’s cars and trucks put together, according to an EPA study.”
Over 95% of those who drive snowmobiles, ATVs, and jetskis are men.
That is to say, men are producing fossil fuel emissions — lots of fossil fuel emissions — just for fun.
(And that’s quite apart from “”Snowmobiles create a noise corridor five miles wide” and “PWC produce noise levels in the range of 85-102 decibels (dB) per unit — levels at which the American Hospital Association recommends hearing protection (above 85 dB).” https://www.stopthrillcraft.org/statistics.htm)
So I watched Star Trek: Picard, wherein he saves the day, and the future, for the creation of synthetic life. A surprising move for someone so … intelligent.
With respect to the creation of organic life …
1. We have not been able to control how many we create. Our planet can comfortably sustain 2-3 billion people (‘comfortably’ defined as the current European standard of living) (which is about 60% of the current American standard). To date, there are 7.8 billion organic life forms in existence. And we’re adding (that’s net gain) 150 per minute.
2. Men often force women to create organic life (by raping them, when they aren’t using, often because they don’t have access to, effective contraception). Although statistics show that one-quarter (United States) to two-thirds (Africa) of all women are raped, we really don’t know how often this forced reproduction occurs because, apparently, it’s no big deal.
3. Men (primarily) also often force women to be incubators for organic life forms (by prohibiting abortion).
4. Once organic life is born, men (primarily) have been woefully irresponsible toward it, abandoning it in one way or another (financially, emotionally) or, worse, hurting it (up to 93% are beaten, and over a million are raped each year).
So, Jean-Luc, what is it that makes you think ‘we’ will be any more responsible when creating synthetic life?
from Three, Annemarie Monahan
“How long did it take for you to realize that men as a class raped women as a class?”
“‘Women are just as bad as men.’ As bad as men? Tell me, if women act the same as men, where are the bodies piled? Where are the masses of men murdered every single day by women? In what other oppression do we equate nastiness or selfishness or just plain anger with murder? Of course not all women are good! But are women honor-killing men? Are women abducting 6-year-old boys for rape? Have women built an international, multi-billion-dollar industry selling films where women gag men with their genitals, ram fists up their asses until they prolapse, shit on their bodies?”
In my novel Gender Fraud: a fiction, several people discuss the negative effect of gender recognition legislation on women’s sports (in a nutshell, it allows men to compete in women’s events and often they win … sponsorships, scholarships …) and one person suggests that sports should be categorized not by sex but, instead, by directly relevant factors, such as muscle mass (proportion and position), height, weight, even foot size (for swimming) …
I’d go further and say let’s just forget sports competition altogether, because, really, can we ever make it fair? Determining what we have is hard enough; determining what we’ve been born with and what we’ve developed is near impossible. Why not just have athletic activity? Why this obsessive desire to figure out who’s best? Who wins? (And who’s a LOSER …) Enough with the ‘You get a medal and all those advertising contracts because on a given day you ran a certain distance a tenth of a second faster than a bunch of other people.
Sports scholarships in particular have got to go. On what grounds is admission to an institute of learning justified by athletic achievement?
Because yes, universities are, should be, places for the intellect. They prepare scholars, architects, engineers, psychologists, mathematicians, biologists, physicists, chemists, doctors, lawyers … What place do football players have there? And it’s not like they (the football players) don’t cost a ridiculous amount of money to be there. Money that could be used for library resources, labs, etc. So in addition, perhaps prior, to the elimination of sports scholarships to universities, I call for the elimination of sports at universities. (And so, too, the elimination of sports competitions between universities.) Sure, let’s have gyms and fields. Physical activity often enhances mental activity. Activity. Competition is not required.